It’s been about six months since I last posted and that feels like ages ago. But it’s the new year and I wanted to share where I am with y’all. And I hope to post more often this year than I did in the last half of 2019.
Last year ended on a fairly high note. At work, I got a promotion, which was a little surprising considering I spent the first part of the year in a fog. I also shared on stage, in front of my colleagues, my struggle with depression, at a work event on the theme of being authentic. It was such a special experience that led to new connections with my coworkers. Since the event, I’ve had random people reach out to talk about their own experience with depression and to share tips and tricks to manage it. I’m also hoping to partner with my HR group to bring more exposure to the Mental Health Awareness week and see how else we can make these conversations easier to have. I think the biggest highlight of last year was that I made it through and am still alive to talk about it. That feels like a big accomplishment considering where I had been at various times during the year.
I started the new year on a low, feeling quite sad on new year’s day, finding myself hiding in my bedroom, in tears, trying to make sense of it. This reminded me that staying out of a fog requires work – I had gone several days without exercise and doing other things I love. When I’m feeling good, I tend to fall out of the habits that helped me get to feeling good.
I love doing jigsaw puzzles – finding the piece that fits is so satisfying. The other day I was thinking about how the things that help me resemble puzzle pieces that fit together to keep me stable. Exercise, spending time quality with my husband and with friends and family, quiet time, doing things I love, like reading and writing, getting outside, and getting enough sleep. All of these are pieces that keep me out of the fog, but I have such a hard time fitting in to my day or even week. It’s an ongoing challenge but I’m determined to make it happen. I’m thinking accountability partners and little rewards might help me. This week I’ve managed to get in two days of exercise, one day of an outdoor walk, three days of reading. Maybe I should keep a chart to track my progress. Wondering – what methods have worked for you to fit in all of your puzzle pieces in a week?