Good Days

Some site (maybe namicommunicate?) I’m following on IG posted that it’s important to celebrate the good days. They may not happen often so it helps to acknowledge when they do happen. I had a good day today and this is my celebration.

What does a good day look like? For me, it means more moments of not crying or wanting to cry than the other way around. Today the only time I felt like crying was in group therapy. So, I’m patting myself on the back for a good day.

A guy in group today said “Depression makes you forget who you were before it took over.” I could not agree more. I know I don’t feel like myself currently but I also can’t remember how I felt before, how I behaved, how I was in general. I can’t seem to remember what I enjoyed, what I liked to do, what I liked about myself and that’s what made me cry. I want to go back to being myself but I don’t know who that is. Does that mean the person who comes out on the other side of this is going to be a different person? Also, did you see that I’m thinking about the other side of this?

I haven’t thought about that in what feels like forever. I saw another post on IG that said “This darkness is not a dead end. It’s hallway. Keep going.” That really spoke to me so I’ve been trying to remind myself of that whenever I can. Maybe I need to make a sign and hang it somewhere I can see it consistently.

I’ve been noticing that topics covered in group are somehow aligning with topics covered by my therapist, even though they are not connected to each other (not through the same provider). For example, my therapist will talk to me about practicing mindfulness and the next day, it’s the same topic in group. And, randomly, there was a speaker at work who also talked about mindfulness. On good days I notice things like that and it gives me hope that the universe is aligning to help get me through the hallway.

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